Here is a partial list of things that have been said to me in the last 48 hours:
- I really struggle to love my husband.
- Why is it so hard not to freak out over things you can’t control?
- I wish I was more like ____ (name not listed).
- Trying to lose weight is so frustrating!
- I am not a people person.
- I don’t have the skills to get a good job.
- I am so exhausted.
- I have horrible hair and can’t do anything with it.
- I am so lonely.
- Nothing makes me as happy as Amazon 1-click.
I call these 10 things I listed above coconuts (🥥). They are problems, and we all have them in our lives. These are things we struggle with, can’t control and feel bad about. Maybe because I’m
amazingly beautiful, super eloquent, brilliant (okay I don’t know why) but people tend to chat with me about their 🥥.
Seriously though… it must be that it is 1/2 way through the year and people are realizing that this year is no different from last and it’s freaking them out. What I’ve learned from having these conversations is people tend to do three things when faced with a 🥥:
- Get afraid or uncomfortable and wish it would go away (because we don’t know how to find a solution and know that there will probably be conflicts about the solution).
- Feel that they have to come up with an answer and it has to be the right answer (a mistake because it tries to put the solution at the beginning, when what we need is a solution at the end of the process).
- Look for someone to blame (but instead we should almost welcome problems because they are opportunities to improve).
Problem solving is not something that everyone is good at and quite honestly I don’t believe it’s well taught. We learn how to solve math problems and answer questions on forms and perform experiments to find solutions… but decision making when there is no clear answer? Solving issues that no one cares about but you? Working for intangibles. These are the playgrounds of personal morality, life goals and imagination.
So here’s what I’m going to do. Over the next bunch of posts I’m going to do a series discovering what your 🥥 is and learning how to crack it. School is starting soon so if you don’t have any problems your kids soon will, and you can help them. But let’s be honest… we all have a 🥥 or two to tackle, right?